I Loved You Until My Dignity Said: “it’s Not That Bad”

Dignity is that personal and emotional border that acts as a psychological protector. Depending on where we have that limit, our personal and social relationships will enjoy better health.

Dignity in affective relationships should not accept discounts or concessions. The moment we start giving in and letting go of resignation after resignation, this rare and valuable fabric will be broken. 

We have been educated in the idea that if we love someone we must give a lot for nothing for that person. However, sometimes, it is very difficult to see where true reciprocity begins and where that border ends where that sibylline, discreet, but voracious blackmail is already opening, where our emotions are manipulated.

It is important to take this into account, safeguard our personal integrity. Next, we suggest you reflect on the following dimensions.

Dignity is the respect you have for yourself

“I loved you until my dignity said: it is not so bad . ” If you have ever felt this yourself, you will remember that inner process in which one realizes that love sometimes has a limit, and it is precisely called dignity.

People build our self-esteem throughout our life cycle. The model in which we are brought up is undoubtedly of great importance, but believe it or not, it is not decisive for many reasons.

We all experience experiences that, from one day to the next, can break many of those inner strengths that we had:

• A complicated personal relationship.
• A job where our rights are violated.
• An accident, a traumatic loss, a disappointment …

There are many causes that can fragment the balance of our self-esteem. By this, we mean that, at times, we believe we are invulnerable. Indeed, we think that nothing can break our strength, that we can with everything.

However, we have this idea because we are in our comfort zone. However, at the moment when external factors make us lose that feeling of self-control, everything falls apart.

Dignity must always be present

There are loves to which we give ourselves blindfolded and our hearts on fire. They are leaps into the void that we do freely because we want to, because we feel it that way. All of this would be defensible, as long as we did not put our dignity at risk. There are affective relationships in which, sometimes, we do not see the limits. We give everything without expecting anything. Any effort is little to make the couple happy.

Until one fine day we realize the deep emptiness we feel inside. It is not that there is something wrong, it is that everything is wrong: nothing is in tune and all the energy is taken by a single person while the other feeds only on the crumbs. And that person is you.

There are moments in life when it pays to be brave and take risks. However, keep in mind that you have to do it with several things very secure: your self-esteem, your dignity and your right to be happy. The moment any of these things fail, you will have to make a decision.

Thoughts give power

When you find yourself in an emotionally complex situation and you want to strengthen your dignity, verbalize these phrases. If you reflect on these lines, you will internalize a series of thoughts capable of igniting an emotion in you: that of courage and bravery. Take note of them:

• I deserve to be loved.
• Living together requires knowing how to team up.
• Whoever truly loves does not submit or oblige.
• Whoever loves you cares about you every day.
• No one can or should tell me how to be happy.
• I am not obliged to please and like everyone.
• Saying “NO” to something is not being selfish: it is defending one’s dignity.
  
• The good partner strengthens our self-esteem, never destroys it.
• I have the right to express my thoughts, to say what I want and what I don’t want.

• I can and must control my reality. I don’t have to submit to what others want or desire.
• True love begins with yourself. If in these moments everything that surrounds me makes me believe that I am worth nothing, it is that there is something wrong. I must react.
• I am a beautiful, brave person and as worthy of being happy as any other. No one should wire my life and my wishes.
• Above all I will defend the people I love. However, I also demand that people who love me respect me, defend me and value me as I deserve.

Dignity, that pending issue

Personal dignity is that pending issue that we should pay more attention to, but that we almost always tend to ignore. It gives us self-esteem, happiness and the integrity that we deserve and owe ourselves every day. Therefore, it is important that you take care of yourself and pamper yourself on the inside, not just on the outside. Little by little, you will notice how you feel much better about yourself and life takes on a much brighter look.

And remember, if you think you need help, you can always go to the psychologist. The professional will give you the guidance you need to start making the changes that will help you grow and head in the direction you want.