What To Do And What To Say If Your Partner Has Depression
The person with depression experiences deep sadness and apathy. Support from loved ones is key to recovery. However, it is important to know what to do and what not to say to provide our support in the right way.
Many times, in our attempt to help our partner with depression, we can – out of good intention – say or do things that do not really help our loved one. In fact, they can produce precisely the opposite effect. For all this, in this article, we give you some advice on what to do and say if your partner is depressed.
The Depression
Depression is an emotional disorder. Indeed, it is characterized by a feeling of constant apathy and sadness that can lead to losing interest in practically everything. For this reason, it is very important to provide support, patience, and understanding to your loved ones.
Depression can range from temporary to chronic, or mild to severe. However, some symptoms are:
- Feeling sad, empty
- Desire to cry
- Loss of interest in most of the things that used to be done before
- Tiredness and lack of energy
- Lack of appetite or just the opposite
- Anxiety and restlessness
- Irritability, outbursts
- etc.
Since it is a condition, it is advisable to seek advice from a specialist as soon as possible, in order to avoid complications. In severe cases, drug treatment may be prescribed.
In any case, at least, it would be important to have the support and advice of loved ones and trusted people.
However, if our partner suffers from depression, in many cases we do not know what to do, what to say or what to ask. In fact, we must be careful and inform ourselves, so that we can provide our support in the best way.
What to say and what not to say
Surely, driven by your good intention and by the need to make your partner feel better, you have ever thought to say or have said:
- “That is fixed with force of will”
- “You must also do something, do your part”
- “Go out more and detach yourself”
- “Think of everything you have, you have no reason to be like this”
However, these phrases are highly discouraged for a person with depression. In effect, this type of statement simplifies and trivializes a condition that is neither simple nor trivial. It is as if you are being asked to make an effort that you cannot make or that you do not give importance to something that, nevertheless, makes you suffer on a daily basis.
The person with depression already torments himself by blaming himself for everything he cannot do. Also, many times you can’t understand why you feel that way. Therefore, we do not need to remind you.
Thus, what we can say to our partner if he suffers from depression are positive support phrases such as:
- “What can I do for you?”
- “I’m by your side”
- “You’re not alone”
- “It’s not your fault”
- “This will happen. I’ll be by your side”
- “I love you”
In this way, your support will be unconditional, without involuntary reproaches about his situation, without making him feel guilty.
What to do if my partner has depression?
There are many things that, on your part, you can do to support your partner. Here are some of them:
Try to understand him
You must understand that depression is not an emotional state that you have chosen. You may not even know why you feel this way. It is not your fault.
Patience
A depression is a disorder that can last over time. For this reason, don’t let yourself down either. Arm yourself with patience and understanding and remain offering your support and love throughout the recovery process.
Don’t force him to do things
As we said before, the person with depression already feels guilty about not being able to do many things. In this sense, trying to force the affected person to, for example, go out or do new things, can be highly counterproductive.
Pay attention to suicidal tendencies
Although it is the most extreme case, some people with depression have suicidal thoughts. For this reason, you should watch out for the signs:
- He talks about suicide (“I don’t want to live”, “I’d be better off dead”, “I want to commit suicide”).
- Acquire means to commit suicide.
- He makes a will, organizes his belongings to give them, etc.
- Says goodbye to loved ones
However, the signs may be different, many times they are not even obvious. In any case, these types of thoughts require immediate specialized attention.
Offer your support
In the way we indicated above, your support must be unconditional, without forcing or making your partner feel that he is unable to overcome it or that he is nothing. In many cases, it is not even necessary to say anything, it is enough to be there. Make him feel like he’s not alone.
On the other hand, it is also important that you promote the treatment. That is, you could recommend that your partner start therapy to treat their condition. However, you should keep in mind that whether or not to start therapy is your own decision.
