You Are Not The Problem, The Problem Is Your Self-esteem

If we have low self-esteem it is important that we learn to work on it and know how to value ourselves because, if we do not do it, nobody will do it in our place

Do you have difficulties in your social relationships? Inadvertently, do you always end up surrounded by toxic people? If so, you may have a self-esteem issue. It is not the first time that we believe that we have a defect, but nothing is further from the truth …

Maybe you are not so good at approaching the right people, it takes too much for you to be assertive and say “no” and you always despair, because you feel that you are not worth what you are doing. Stop thinking that the worst of luck has come to you. Your problem lies in your self-esteem, which is what you have to work on.

Why do I have low self-esteem?

Throughout life, we will encounter experiences and difficulties that will allow us to learn and advance. However, sometimes we achieve the opposite effect.

We become gray people, lacking motivation and with a clear lack of self-confidence and self-confidence. The reason you may be going through this is because you don’t accept yourself as you are.

You want to be perfect and you don’t admit your mistakes. These can help propel you forward if you look at them from another perspective. Also, you may constantly seek approval from other people. This causes your motivation and your happiness to be in the hands of others.

It is possible that you fall, on some occasions, in the terrible comparisons that do you only harm.

But above all, do you lead a healthy life? Exercising, taking care of your diet and staying away from people who do not suit you can significantly help your self-esteem.

Sometimes we can’t choose

It is true that many times the lack of self-esteem has not been our choice. It is not a product of the aforementioned, but of experiences in which we have been involuntarily submerged.

For example, having spent childhood in an unstructured family or with unloving parents can be some of the triggers.

Have you suffered a case of abuse? Children who have been bullied have serious  problems trusting themselves and projecting the safety they should have.

Also, too high expectations from parents or overprotection can cause your self-esteem to suffer in the future.

As you have seen, what happens in your first years of life will affect your future. However, can we modify this?

Self-esteem progresses throughout life

Any situation can change and your self-esteem is part of this. Throughout life it will become stronger, wiser, we will learn to maintain it.

To do this, it will be very important that we start with a few simple statements that will need to be internalized:

• Overcome those fears that block you and create barriers.
• Stop constantly sabotaging yourself. Sometimes the worst enemy to your self-esteem resides in yourself.
• If you carry out self-destructive actions, eliminate them.
• Set realistic goals.
• Learn from your mistakes, without them you could not move forward.
• Trust each and every one of your abilities.

Although it seems simple, we know that this is very difficult. Therefore, in some situations it is necessary to go to a psychologist to guide us and open our eyes to what we are and what we can achieve.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it

Dealing with people, with adversities, is not easy and your self-esteem will always be the first of those affected. However, this does not mean that you cannot do well.

When our low self-esteem becomes an opportunity to get to know ourselves better, accept what we feel and draw strength from where we think we do not have it.

Think that sometimes to go up you have to go down, and that is what happens to your self-esteem. She will test your endurance so that you become the best version of yourself.

However, the true solution is found in loving and fending for ourselves. We think that we love each other, that we take care of each other, but sometimes this is a big lie.

Our actions and how we face our day to day tell us the opposite. Open your eyes and start taking care of your self-esteem. When you do, you will discover that you will be much happier.